


Saving Me

by profound_bond



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Nickleback song, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, Insecure Dean, M/M, slight mention of suicide, stupid idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7071604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/profound_bond/pseuds/profound_bond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas were the happiest, sappiest, loved up couple everyone adored to know. Their friends would mock them for being sickeningly cute together, but loved them all the same. Their brothers would always fake gag and pretend to vomit whenever they were in their presence but Dean and Cas would just laugh and ignore them while being in their own personal bubble. Everyone thought they'd get married and last forever and always.</p><p>It's a shame life got in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to to thank my lovely beta Alexis for motivating me when I needed it and adding more commas for me ;)

Dean and Cas were the happiest, sappiest, loved up couple everyone adored to know. Their friends would mock them for being sickeningly cute together, but loved them all the same. Their brothers would always fake gag and pretend to vomit whenever they were in their presence but Dean and Cas would just laugh and ignore them, while being in their own personal bubble. Everyone thought they'd get married and last forever and always.

  
It's a shame life got in the way.

  
Growing up together they'd always been best friends, even to this day. Beside the rocky paths, and falling outs, they always managed to stay closer together, getting stronger every time. What they didn't expect was to break up.

  
See, Dean had always been slightly insecure about being with Cas. He always felt like he wasn't good enough for him, in more than one way. The longer they stayed together, the more unhappy he became, and Cas had no idea what to do to make him happy again. He certainly wasn't expecting Dean to yell at him; "I'm breaking up with you!", one night before slamming the door behind him.

  
Since then Cas hasn't left his place, and slowly but surely he let depression take over. He forgets to eat on more than one occasion, and when Gabriel tries to get him out the house he starts having a panic attack. He'd never known life without Dean, and this past month has basically been hell for him.

  
Not to say Dean is any better, he's certainly kicking his own ass for leaving, but he's scared. He's scared to see Cas, scared to love him, because all of his past relationships haven't ended well. He's scared he'll lose him one way or another, but he's already done that himself.

  
"Dean?" He hears Sam call from outside, not budging from his spot.

  
"Dean, seriously?" Sam sighs barging into Deans room. Dean grunts before rolling over away from Sam.

  
"Dean please, you need to get out of bed and shower man! You've been like this for a month and I'm worried about you." Sam begs as he runs his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture.

  
Dean stares idly at the wall, not moving one bit. He heard his brother but there's nothing he can do. He can't fix something he broke. He's damaged goods.

  
"I can't Sammy." He forces out, voice cracked and unused. "I've lost him. I pushed Cas away and I..I need him Sammy, I need him." He cries out tears staining his pillow.

  
Sam stands there watching his brother cry, willing to comfort him, but knowing it'd just make it worse. He'd tried all he can, but Dean won't let him in. He's stuck on ideas to try and help his brother, without getting shut down. If his own brother is like this he hates to think what Cas is like.

  
***

  
"Cassie, you up yet?" Gabriel calls out, looking for his brother. As he reaches the living room he pauses, admiring his brother. His once younger brother, whose smile could fill the room, has a firm frown constantly attached to his face. His sea blue eyes, now a dull gray, sit upon a face pale from lack of eating.

  
He looks tired as always, and Gabriel's starting to consider sending him off to a therapist, or a counselor, just in hopes he'd talk. But his brother can barely step foot outside without panicking.

  
Walking into the room, he gently sits next to Cas.

  
"Hey you, how you feeling today?"

  
"Tired." Cas meekly drones.

  
"I know buddy, have you eaten today at all?"

  
"Not hungry."

  
"But Cas, you've got to-"

  
"Not hungry." Cas repeats turning his head to look at his brother. Tired, sad eyes stare at him.

  
"Okay Cassie, I'll make you a nice hot tea." Gabriel replies worriedly. "Don't need you burning your hand like last time." He teases dejectedly.

  
As he walks away, he hears a faint thank you and frowns to himself. His brother isn't getting any better, in fact he's getting admittedly worse. Times like this call for drastic measures, but is he seriously considering this? Shaking his head he gets to making the tea for Cas.

  
"I'll think about it." He assures himself. Pouring the hot water into a mug, squeezing the tea bag and stirring the tea, Gabriel heaves a heavy sigh. Hearing feet shuffling behind him, he turns to see Cas swaddled in blankets.

  
"Gabriel?" He sniffs wrapping the blanket tighter around himself.

"We're you just talking to somebody?"

Huffing out a laugh, Gabriel picks up the mug passing it to Cas' awaiting hands.

  
"Just talking to myself bro, don't worry."

Cas tilts his head curiously before blowing on his tea and taking a sip. Nodding he strains a smile.

  
"Okay, thank you Gabe. I'll be in my room if you need me." He softly replies before shuffling his way out the kitchen to disappear into his room.

  
Heaving a deep sigh, Gabriel shakes his head at loss for what to do for his broken brother. Coming up defeated, he heads to bed in hopes tomorrow will bring him a new day of ideas.

  
***

  
**~SMASH~**

  
A loud smashing sound awakes Sam making him sit up straight in his bed. Alarmed and slightly worried, he pulls the covers off before sliding on some pants.

  
Opening the door slowly, he tiptoes outside trying to find the culprit. Reaching the kitchen, he finds Dean cursing under his breath as he sweeps up a broken bowl.

  
"Dean? What happened?" Sam questions going to help his brother. Shrugging him off Dean grumbles.

  
"I just wanted some breakfast but my stupid hand slipped Sammy, don't worry."

  
"Sit down Dean, I'll make it for you."

  
"I'm fine Sammy!" He replies slightly raising his voice.

  
"You're clearly not if you can't even make cereal Dean! Just let me do this for you okay?"

  
Slumping down in the chair, Dean gives in. Making Sam more worried. Sinking down to lay on his arms, Dean closes his eyes tiredly.

  
"If you fall asleep I'm eating your cereal." Sam jokes, threateningly holding a spoonful up to his mouth.

  
"Gimme the damn food Sammy!" Dean huffs peaking an eye open.

  
Sam puts the bowl down as Dean snatches the spoon from him before chewing loudly to annoy his brother. They both eat in utter silence, both thinking about two different things but still simultaneously the same thing. Deans phone rings breaking the silence.

He stills looking to where his phone lies. Sam gets up to pick Deans phone up from the sofa. Looking at the screen his brow furrows.

  
"It's Gabe." He tells Dean.

  
"Gabriel? Sammy answer it!" He replies nervously.

  
Glaring at his brother, Sam answers the phone.

  
"Gabe?"

  
"Sammo! Put me on loud speaker will you!"

  
Sam obeys and switches to loud speaker, placing the phone on the table.

  
"Alright, you're on. What's going on?"

  
"Is Deano with you?"

  
"I'm here Gabe get to the point." He growls.

  
"Fine!" He sighs. "I'm coming to see you. I need to speak to you and it's better face to face."

  
Glancing at each other apprehensively they nod.

  
"Are you far?" Sam asks.

  
"I'm five minutes away, see ya then!"

  
"Wait, um is a... is Cas with you?" Dean asks gingerly.

  
"No Deano, gotta go!" Gabriel replies before abruptly hanging up.

A mere few seconds later, a knock comes at the door. Striding to open it, Sam greets Gabriel leading him to the kitchen to sit down. The silence is too overbearing making Dean slam the table in frustration.

  
"Gabe please!" He begs looking at him pleadingly.

  
"Sorry Deano, I was thinking. Okay, how do I put this lightly?" He exhales.

"Cas is...I'm worried about him. I need your help. He's not eating, he's barely sleeping, he can barely leave the house without panicking. You need to fix this Dean, please. I need my baby brother back." He pleads.

  
Shaking his head, Dean takes in a shuddering breath.

  
"I can't, I'm broken...Cas can do so much better Gabe. He doesn't need me."

  
"I'm sorry to burst your pity party but did you not hear me? He's not functioning without you! Get that through your thick skull Dean!" He growls.

  
"I don't know if _you've_ noticed but I fucked up. I fucked up big time!"

  
"Oh _I've_ noticed Deano!"

  
"Fuck you!"

  
"STOP!" Sam shouts! "Both of you are not helping the situation!" Dean opens his mouth to talk.

"Dean shut up for a second, how can we help Gabe?"

  
"That idiot needs to beg, apologise, grovel, whatever it takes. He's the only one who can fix it!" Sam nods before turning to Dean.

Letting out a strangled noise, Dean gets up and heads straight to his bedroom. Running his hand through his hair with a sigh, Sam gulps.

  
"Give him some time, he'll come round to it I promise. Even if I have to make him." Gabriel deflates in exasperation, standing up he nods.

"Let me know Sammo, he's getting worse."

Is the last thing Gabriel says before closing the door behind him. Determined to make this right, Sam makes a decision right there that he'd help get them back together no matter the consequences.

  
***

  
Cas sat on his bed, sheets array while cocooned in a blanket, scribbling away in his journal. A glass of water and an empty mug lay abandoned on his bedside table, along with a half eaten sandwich he'd made four hours prior. He'd started writing at lunch time and hasn't stopped since, even the cramp in his hand hasn't stopped him.

  
He'd been lying awake humming a faint tune to himself when an idea struck him. Rummaging around his room he frantically looked for his journal, willing to jot down lyrics before he forgot them. Not caring for the mess he'd made in the mean time. Finally scribbling down the last lyric he looks up dazed, soon turning to confusion at how it was now dark outside.

  
Turning to face the clock he reads the time. 4:58pm. Closing his journal, he tightens his blanket and rises from his bed. His aching muscles cracking from sitting in the same position for far too long. He grabs the plate, mug and glass and discards them in the kitchen. Frowning he wonders where his loud brother is but dismisses it.

  
Mindlessly walking around the house, he spots a cat walking along the window ledge outside. Perking up he approaches the window slowly, itching to stroke it. Glancing at the door and back, he shuffles his feet in agitation. Bracing himself, he shuffles to the door and slowly unlocks it. As he opens the door a gush of wind hits his body making him still. His breath starts to quicken and his hand latched to the door starts to shake. A mere action of stepping outside has become such a challenge to him. He begins to back away to close the door when a meow breaks the loud voices in his head.

  
Looking down he sees the cat twirling around his legs, tail held high. A small smile starts to grow as he looks at the brown furred feline rubbing against his leg purring. Crouching down; blankets and all, he starts to tentatively stroke the cat. His small smile grows into a wide grin as it nudges at his hand. Finding how the cat calms his nerves he looks for a collar. Finding none he pauses and contemplates doing something he never thought of doing till now. As the stray starts meowing at him again, he makes up his mind and scoops the cat up into his arms.

  
As green eyes lock with blue, Cas smiles.

  
"I think I'll name you Bumblebee!" He says proudly, scratching at its chin. Meowing it licks at Cas' hand.

  
"You like that huh? I do too! How about we make some dinner hey?" Jumping from Cas' arms and onto the counter, he sits swaying his tail behind him before meowing once again.

  
"Eager little guy, aren't you?" He chuckles opening the fridge. "How about some tuna? Want some tuna?" Cas coos before finding a bowl to dispose his new cats dinner in.

  
"Nice huh?" He asks as Bumblebee digs in, chewing loudly.

  
Feeling slightly productive and joyful with his newfound pet, Cas gets to making dinner for him and Gabriel. A permanent smile attached to his face with Bumblebee right by his side.

  
***

  
Dean lies awake thinking about what Gabriel said, over and over in his head. He can't seem to shake how badly Cas had taken their break up. Here Dean thought he was taking it badly, apparently not. He needs to fix this and he needs to fix this now! Feigning sleep he decides to get out of bed and come up with a plan. But first, he needs coffee and lots of it.

**

  
Dean jolts awake, slapping his face with the palm of his hand in the process. Blinking tiredly he stares at the full mug of cold coffee still sitting in his hand.

  
"Son of a bitch!" He cries exasperated.

Draining the liquid down the sink, he rinses it before starting on a fresh mug. Determined to stay awake this time, to form his plan; Get Cas back.

  
***

  
Gabriel arrives home exhausted out of his mind. After paying a visit to the Winchester boys, he decided he needed a drink. A very strong one. One drink soon ended up into several and now he's regretting the choice. Placing the keys on the counter, he takes his shoes off before turning to head to his room. Halfway down the corridor he pauses. A very brown feline sits atop the kitchen counter. Thinking his brain was playing tricks on him, he shakes his head but nope. The cat still sits there staring at him. Blinking heavily, Gabriel ventures to Cas' room.

  
"Cas? CAS!" He tries but Cas doesn't stir from his sleep.

  
"CASSIE!" He shouts making Cas jolt in his sleep.

Opening his eyes, he blaringly glares at Gabriel.

  
"Wussit Gabe?" He murmurs, blinking rapidly to stay awake.

  
"I was just wondering why there was a cat sat in our kitchen dear brother." He replies lofty.

  
"Hmmm was'at?"

  
"A cat Cassie, a damn cat!"

  
"Oh." Cas replies more awake now. "That's Bumblebee, my new cat." Gabriel chuckles to himself.

  
"For a second there I thought you said your new cat!" Cas looks at him deadpan.

  
"Oh, your not kidding. Wait... you called it Bumblebee?" He asks before bursting into laughter.

  
"Yes, Bumblebee! If you're gonna mock me I'd rather you leave so I can go back to sleep." Cas says rolling his eyes.

  
"Oh Cassie, I love you!" Gabe chuckles pretending to wipe away tears.

  
"Yeah, yeah! Love you too Gabe." Cas replies monotone before rolling over back to sleep.

  
Shaking his head fondly at his brother, he can see a glimpse of his baby brother back. I guess he has the cat to thank for that. He thinks before heading to his own room to catch some much needed sleep.

  
***

  
Dean paces the flat finding the courage to just go face Cas. But thinking it isn't as easy as doing it. Sam wonders how he hasn't burned a hole in the carpet from how long Deans been pacing. His not about whacking his brother upside the head to push things along.

Pausing in his pacing, Dean starts mumbling under his breath. Psyching himself up to face Cas. It's only Cas, he can do this although there is the possibility of him shutting the door in his face but no, no Cas wouldn't do that. He loves him, or at least did. He's not really sure on that part anymore. No, I have to do this! Cas is my soulmate, I... fuck why is it so hard to say it.

  
Smacking himself in the face he tells himself to buck up before grabbing his jacket, yelling a "Wish me luck, Sammy!" and closing the door. He sits in the impala, reminiscing about how much he'd missed sitting in his baby. Stroking the dashboard, he starts her up feeling the engine purr run through his veins. Praying to all there is, he heads off to Cas and Gabriel's place.

  
***

  
Cas has been stuck in his room all day and Gabriel is really starting to get worried. Yesterday was a good day and he'd stupidly hoped Cas would stay that way but I guess that was wishful thinking. He passes he's brothers door every now and then but all he can hear is the sound of guitar strings being pulled and he doesn't know whether that's a good sign or not. Deciding to leave his baby brother alone for the mean time he decides to catch up on some tv.

  
Sitting down on the sofa he spots a brown journal sat on the coffee table. Knowing its Cas' he sits very intrigued. Thoughts of; should I open it? It can't hurt right? going through his head. Screwing it all together he opens the journal, bracing himself for what he's about to read. The first random page is something he'd expected.

  
_Dear journal,_

  
_It's been a week since I last saw Dean. My Dean. I can't shake the feeling I did something wrong but then again, now I'll never know. He broke up with me. How do I cope without him?_

  
Turning to another page, Gabriel sucks in a breath.

  
_Dear journal,_

  
_I've been feeling really down lately, I can't dispose the current feelings of suicide from my head. I don't want to die but what's life without the one person I need in my life? Gabriel doesn't understand, then again his my brother, I wouldn't put it past him to try. I just need him back, please bring him back._

  
Flicking the page once more he lands on something different. Upon reading, he notices they're song lyrics.

  
_Show me what it's like_

_To be the last one standing_

_And teach me wrong from right_

_And I'll show you what I can be_

_And say it for me_

_Say it to me_

_And I'll leave this life behind me_

_Say it if it's worth saving me_

  
Sucking in a painful breath, he hopes Dean can fix this.

  
***

  
In his room Cas plucks the guitar delicately, forming a tune. Tweaking the chords he settles on a tune that fits. Strumming the strings softly he starts to sing.

  
_Heaven's gates won't open up for me_

_With these broken wings I'm fallin'_

_And all I see is you_

  
A lone tear falls from his lashes, thinking back to the day Dean said those dreaded words. Forcing his way through his emotions he continues singing.

  
_These city walls ain't got no love for me_

_I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story_

_And all I scream for you_

_Come please I'm callin'_

  
Tears start falling rapidly as a sob wrecks through his body. Folding in on himself Cas struggles to pull it together, finally letting out all the pent up emotions he'd been holding in. Clutching at his guitar, the only source he can latch to he breaks down.

  
Dean knocks on the door and fully expects to see Cas' face but what he doesn't expect is to see an emotional Gabriel, standing right in front of him.

  
"Gabe? What's wrong? What's happened?" He rushes to ask. Scared for himself, scared for Cas.

  
"I found his journal, he.. he wanted to die!" Gabriel hiccups.

  
Tears start spilling out of Deans eyes. No, no this can't be happening. His Cas wouldn't want to die. His stomach feels sick all of a sudden, his bow legs crippling underneath him.

  
"Please save my baby brother Dean, I beg of you, please! Just make it right again!" Gabriel all but cries out clutching at Deans jacket.

Nodding to Gabriel, Dean pries Gabriel's hand off his jacket and on shaky legs walks to Cas' bedroom door. Hearing a tune flowing from Cas' door he pauses to listen in.

_And all I need is you_

_Come please I'm callin'_

_And all I scream for you_

_Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

  
Clutching to the door frame, Dean whimpers at the pain in Cas' voice. Plucking up the courage, he opens the door in a moment of pure bravery. All that falls away when he sees Cas. Tears streaming down his face, hiccuping sob after sob.

  
Running to his side to envelope him into a forceful embrace, Dean cracks.

  
"Cas, Cas I'm here! Look at me, please!" He pleads.

Cas turns to look at Dean, letting out a small squeak. He touches his face gently, making sure his not dreaming this up right now. As skin touches skin, he sucks in a breath.

  
"Dean? Dean you're here! I missed you so much, please don't leave me again, please!"

  
Holding onto Cas' hand, Dean moves them to lace their fingers together.

  
"I'm so so sorry Cas! I'm never gonna leave you again. I was so stupid, babe, I need you!"

  
A painful sob erupts from Cas making him keen over.

  
"I need saving Dean. I'm not the same anymore! I can't handle it if you can't save me!"

  
Dean cradles Cas's face in his hands, wiping the fallen tears away with his thumbs.

  
"Listen to me, Cas! Listen, you're worth saving over and over again. I'm never gonna leave you again I promise. I..I love you Cas, I fucking love you!"

  
Cas clings to Dean feeling like Dean was too far away from him. Pulling him closer, a weight feels lifted. He finally feels saved.

"I love you too, Dean. You're everything I ever need. My heart and soul. You're my soulmate."

He sobs before sealing his lips on Deans in a promise, a promise to always be there and that no matter what, they'll always love each other.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 Year Later.

"Cas, babe. Open your eyes!" Dean chuckles as Cas tightens his grip on Deans hand.

"Dean, they're open!" Cas huffs with his eyes still firmly shut.

"I'm pretty sure they're not, babe! Come on, you're doing so well." Dean replies comfortingly.

"Oh no, Dean! Dean, I've gone blind!" Cas jokes making Dean chuckle.

"Shut up you dork and just open them. I've got you." Cas carefully opens his eyes and takes in a deep breath.

Feeling no slight panic whatsoever, he turns to his right and sees Dean, watching him carefully. Seeing those green eyes shine with love just for him, makes a grin slowly fill up his face. Shuffling closer to Dean, a strong wave of pride washes over him. Leaning his face closer to Dean, he whispers.

"I did it!" Grinning from ear to ear. Dean's heart swells with pride, as a matching grin fills his own face.

"That you did. I'm proud of you Cas!" He announces, kissing Cas firmly on the lips.

Kissing back with more force, Cas' stomach fills with butterflies. Kissing Dean, is one of his favourite things. No matter how many times they kiss, it still feels just like the very first time.

"Mmm you taste good." Cas says softly before licking his lips.

"I wish you were talking about me, but that'll be the pancakes!" Dean sighs.

"Ugh, those pancakes! They were so good!" Cas keens yearningly.

Dean clutches his heart dramatically.

"I knew you were only with me for my food!"

"Well, there is one thing I love more than your pancakes." Cas smirks.

"Oh yeah." Dean matches Cas' smirk.

"Do tell!" He says, cocking his eyebrow in a suggestive matter.

"You."

Deans face softens, as he looks at Cas. Placing his hand on Cas' shoulder, he smiles warmly, moving his thumb up and down caressingly.

"I love you. Never change."

Smiling a broad gummy smile, Cas interlaces his fingers with Deans. Pulling him closer, their breaths tickling one another's faces. He gently but firmly, kisses Dean on the nose, cheeks, eyes and then his forehead, before deeply kissing him on the lips.

Pulling away, blue eyes meet green as they stare at each other lovingly. Enamoured looks, never leaving their faces. So glad they were finally back together again and at peace with one another. Loving someone can be hard, but if they're worth saving for, they're most definitely worth fighting for.

"Dean!"

Sam hollers, bursting their bubble. Both turning in his direction, fingers still firmly laced together.

"Sammy!"

They both say in unison, turning to face each other before giggling.

"It's creepy when you both do that." Sam says, shaking his head fondly at the two.

"Come eat dinner before Gabe eats it all!"

A faint "Hey!" is heard inside as Sam walks back in. Cas squeezes Deans hand, bumping his shoulder, he tugs on his hand pulling Dean up the pathway. As they climb the stairs, Bumblebee joins them, nudging both their legs as they pass.

"Hey BB." Dean coos, picking Bumblebee up.

"Do you want some of daddy's dinner? Yeah? Come on then." Cas sighs, following Dean inside.

"Dean! How many times, have I told you not to give BB our food?"

Cas reprimands Dean, before closing the door. As the door clicks, a faint domestic argument can be heard inside.

"I do no such thing!"

"You're literally feeding him chicken right now."

"Dean."

"Cas."

"DEAN!"

"What?"

"Just give him the damn chicken."

"See, buddy! I told you daddy will convince your other daddy."

"You're insufferable!"

"You love me!"

"I do."

***

"Cas?" Dean calls out receiving no answer. He walks down the hallway to their room and gently pushes the door open. On the bed lays Cas, with Bumblebee lying on his chest. Cas fiddles with his phone, trying not to disturb him.

"You're taking photos of him, ain't you?"

"Shush, you'll wake him." Cas whispers, without taking his eyes off BB.

Chuckling at his cute boyfriend, Dean gently sits down on the corner of the bed. He shuffles a little, facing Cas.

"Babe?" Dean says softly.

Looking up, Cas sees a nervous flicker in Deans green orbs. Locking his phone and putting it on the night stand, Cas gives him his full attention, idly stroking BB on his chest.

"Can I show you something?" Dean timidly asks, rubbing his thigh in a nervous gesture.

"Of course, Freckles" Cas replies nervously.

Dean smiles at the use of Cas' nickname for him, before shuffling up to open the drawer on his night stand. He pulls out an identical journal to Cas', the only difference in them being the initials D.W engraved on the front. Flicking through the pages silently, he soon finds what his looking for and takes a deep breath, before handing it to Cas.

The air is tense, as Dean sits nervously in the silence, waiting for Cas' opinion. In what feels like forever, Cas finally looks up at Dean with glassy eyes.

"You wrote this?" Dean nods. "When?"

"I started writing it when we broke up but I actually finished it a few months after we got back together."

"It's beautiful, Dean." Cas confesses.

"Will you play it for me?"

Slightly stunned for a few seconds, Dean eventually nods and grabs his guitar.

"I'm a little rusty." He complies as he starts plucking the strings.

The melody soon comes back to him like a wave crashing to shore. Strumming gently, he begins to sing.

_This time, This place_

_Misused, Mistakes_

_Too long, Too late_

_Who was I to make you wait_

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

Seeing Cas listening to him intensively, a warm sense of pride washes over him.

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything but I won't give up_

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

Hearing a sniffle, he surges on. Pouring his emotions out in the song, desperate to just stop and hold Cas in his arms.

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know_

Holding the note in the last word, he looks up and sings the last verse, staring into Cas' eyes.

_I wanted_

_I wanted you to stay_

_'Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say_

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long_

_So keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

Quickly but gently, Dean puts down his guitar and engulfs Cas in a loving embrace, clinging to each other tightly, in need of the closeness and intimacy. Breathing each other in, they slowly exhale together. Dean hums before crooning into Cas' ear.

_So keep breathing_

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

Cas whimpers before pulling Dean back and crashing their lips together. Tugging at Deans plaid shirt, he shrugs it off flinging it somewhere in the room. Hands invade one another, desperate to touch, desperate for that skin to skin contact.

Pulling Cas' jumper off and dropping it to the floor, Dean starts mouthing at Cas' neck. Trailing kisses from his jaw downwards, licking at a spot just below his ear, Dean sucks down hard making Cas groan loudly.

Cas tugs at Deans t-shirt, receiving a nod he pulls it off in one swift move, dropping it on the floor to join his. Smirking, he gives Dean the same treatment he gave him, sucking down on his weak spot making him whimper. Caressing the new mark showing up, Cas licks at Deans mouth teasingly.

"Mine!" He growls.

Dean gasps into Cas' mouth, giving Cas access as tongues lap at one another, battling for dominance. Hands trail down chests as they both fight to unbuckle each other's belts. Succeeding, they pull back and make quick work of taking off their jeans and boxers, before clashing back together again. Straddling Cas' thighs, Dean starts gently rocking in need of friction.

Flipping him over, Cas pins Dean down on the bed. Whimpering, he locks eyes with Cas.

"Baby, please." He begs.

"What do you want Dean?" Cas asks, slowly thrusting down on him.

"I...wanna...r-ride you!" He groans.

Cas flips them back over again, adjusting Dean slightly. Grabbing the lube and a condom from his drawer, he flicks the cap open before spreading some onto Deans fingers.

"Wanna watch you, Dean! Open yourself up for me."

"Fuck!" Dean gasps out.

Lifting up slightly, he circles his hole before slowly adding in the first finger. Cas' pupils fully dilated, so turned on at watching Dean fill himself. He slides his hands down Deans chest, in need to touch him.

Needing more, Dean soon adds a second finger, then a third, moaning as he fills himself up. He scissors his fingers inside, before bearing down on himself. Cas can tell his nearly ready as he coaches him on.

"You're doing so good Dean, just a little bit more and I think you're ready!"

Flinging his head back, as he find the prostate. Dean starts to feel restless and in need of Cas right now. Opening himself up as much as he can, hitting that sweet spot, Dean grunts, leaning his head on Cas' shoulder.

"You...need you...now!" He growls out.

Snatching up the condom, he tears it open and slides it on Cas's leaking penis. Shuffling into position, he kisses Cas roughly, before grabbing Cas' encased penis and bears down slowly, inch by inch. They both still, revelling at the tight, fullness of each other.

Cas relaxes Dean, taking his mind off of how full he feels. Finally nodding his head at Cas, he bears down a few inches more, making himself fully sheathed. Groaning loudly, Cas tightens his hold on Deans hips, silently waiting for the confirmation to move.

Dean breaks the silence, growling at Cas to move. Snapping his hips up, he edges Dean on reminding him, that he is in charge this time. Slowly blinking through the haze of ecstasy, Dean starts moving his hips, thrusting down in a smooth rhythm. Sweat drips, as he starts picking up the pace, feeling the all too familiar coil in his stomach tighten.

"Cas, baby, I'm gonna-" Dean pants before crying out with Cas' name on his tongue.

Feeling Dean clench down on him, Cas follows soon after. Feeling spent, Dean shifts off Cas, wincing as he pulls out. Taking the condom off, he ties it before throwing it in the bin but missing. Pulling Cas down on top of him, Cas lets out a chuckle.

"I love you but you have a shitty aim." Dean rolls his eyes.

"I just rode you and you expect me to be able to function properly?" He smirks.

"That _was_ very mind blowing." He sighs deeply before pecking Dean on the lips.

Getting up off Dean, Cas walks into their bathroom to fetch a wash cloth. As he enters, he lets out a loud guffaw.

"Dean, I think we scarred Bumblebee!" He squeals out, returning with the cloth in hand.

They both stare at each other before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

**

**_Do you think they did it?_ **

**Did what?**

**_Really? Are you that oblivious? No wait don't answer that._ **

**Huh?**

**_Adult nap time, the horizontal mambo, riding the bony express..._ **

**Ew gross! STOP**

**_It was a genuine question Samsquatch!_ **

**Dean did say he was going to show Cas his song.**

**_Yep, they totally did it!_ **

**GABE!**

***

Sam sits at the table, munching on some cereal when Dean stumbles his way in.

"Morning, Sammy!" He grumbles, searching for coffee.

"It's noon Dean." Sam replies rolling his eyes.

"Afternoon, Sammy!" Dean deadpans without turning around. He finds two mugs and a fresh pot of coffee, letting out a "Yes!" in excitement.

Cas comes strolling in, with Gabriel not far behind him.

"Do I smell coffee?" Cas grouches, not a particular morning person.

Dean hands Cas the second mug naturally, without any words, as Gabriel steals some of Sam's cereal. Gabriel winks at him as Sam glares in his direction. Shaking his head, he steals the spoon back and starts to eat again.

"What's got you two so groggy in the morning?" Gabriel asks chirpily.

"Sex." Smirks Dean, as Sam chokes on his cereal.

"His teasing Sam, we're actually writing a song together." Cas chimes in.

Clearing his throat, Sam looks to Dean, then Cas.

"A song?"

"Yeah, it's not finished though! It's kicking my ass." Cas punches Dean in the arm.

"Ow, okay, our asses! Geez." Grinning, Cas adds.

"We can't seem to agree on some things."

"I wonder who's fault that is." Dean mumbles.

"It didn't sound right!" Cas glares.

Sam and Gabe look backwards and forwards at the couple, slightly amused.

"It's not my fault, you keep changing my lyrics."

"I can't help it needing to be perfect, I've become attached to it."

"So have I dumbass!"

"Shut up!"

"Nice comeback, Cas."

"Drink your coffee, Freckles."

Gabriel guffaws, nearly falling off of his chair.

"Freckles!" He squeals. "That is so fitting, oh my god!"

Rolling his eyes, Dean drains his coffee and ventures back to their room.

Cas smacks Gabe, upside his head.

"That's for laughing at my nickname for Dean!"

"Ow. No need for abuse Cassie!"

"Sure, Muddy Bear." Cas smirks, as Gabriel startles.

"Cassie! You swore!"

"Too late." Cas shouts, snickering as he closes the door behind him.

Next to him, Sam is shaking with silent laughter. Gabriel turns to glare at him.

"Shut up, Samsquatch!" Gabriel huffs, crossing his arms.

Sam cracks up even more, letting out a loud snort.

***

Over the next few days, Cas and Dean kept working on their song. And Sam kept teasing Gabriel of his nickname, earning a punch to his arm. Nothing stopped him though, which aggravated Gabriel to the point where he chased Sam around the house, with a toy clown to get him to stop. Dean found that extremely hilarious.

One pleasantly, calm night watching the television. Dean yells; "Fucking finally!" making them jump.

The door bangs open, as Dean and Cas both try and fail, to get out the door at the same time. Fumbling and falling over one another, they snicker before helping each other up. Storming over to Sam and Gabriel, Dean waves the journal in their faces.

"We finished it! We finally fucking finished it!" He exhales tiredly, before falling on top of them.

"Ugh Dean, get off!"

"Deano, your fat ass is squashing me!" They both yelp in unison.

Rolling over to a free space, Dean gives them the finger.

"Wanna read it?" Cas asks, sitting down next to Dean.

"Sure." Sam replies, taking the journal from Dean. Moving it in the middle so Gabe can see, they both start reading.

**"If Everyone Cared"**

_From underneath the trees, we watch the sky_

_Confusing stars for satellites_

_I never dreamed that you'd be mine_

_But here we are, we're here tonight_

_Singing Amen, I, I'm alive_

_Singing Amen, I, I'm alive_

_[Chorus]_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day when nobody died_

_And I'm singing_

_Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive_

_Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive_

_And in the air the fireflies_

_Our only light in paradise_

_We'll show the world they were wrong_

_And teach them all to sing along_

_Singing Amen, I, I'm alive_

_Singing Amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)_

_[Chorus x2]_

_And as we lie beneath the stars_

_We realize how small we are_

_If they could love like you and me_

_Imagine what the world could be_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day when nobody died_

_When nobody died..._

_[Chorus]_

_We'd see the day, we'd see the day_

_When nobody died_

_We'd see the day, we'd see the day_

_When nobody died_

_We'd see the day when nobody died_

They both sit there in shock, Sam sniffles while Gabe sits gobsmacked.

"Holy balls!" Gabe remarks, astounded.

"Guys, this is amazing!" Sam declares proudly.

Dean flushes as Cas blooms with pride at their reaction. Grabbing Deans hand in excitement, he grins a full on gummy smile.

"I'm so glad you both like it!"

"We love it!" Sam exclaims, Gabe nodding his head in agreement.

"Okay, enough with the sappy moment! Let's go out and celebrate." Dean declares.

All agreeing, they separate to go and get ready. Back in their room, Dean embraces Cas.

"I just needed this." Cas smiles, hugging Dean back.

"You sap." He chuckles. "I love you!"

"I love you too, Cas."

They both pull apart as lips meet lips, in a slow, sensual kiss. Cas gives Dean one last peck, before lacing his fingers in his. Walking out their room now ready, they join Gabriel and Sam.

Locking the door, they all pile into the impala, happy grins never leaving their faces. Dean starts the engine, revelling at her purr. Driving off to the Roadhouse, Dean steals a glance at Cas.

Seeing him smile as he looks out the window, he wonders how he got so lucky. With their hands still intwined, he smiles to himself.

In his pocket sits a box. In that box sits a ring.


	3. Chapter 3 - Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so glad you said yes."
> 
> "I'm so glad we're married."

**~2 Years Later~**

"Nooo!" Castiel groans out, too exhausted to move. Burrowing further into the sheets, he tries to block out the noise of the alarm clock. Shuffling deeper, Castiel realizes that his sheets are breathing. Opening one eye, he discovers that what he thought was once his sheets in he's weary state, was in fact his newly wed husband Dean. He piers up at the sleeping form, forming a wide smile at how care free his husband looks in his sleep.

Husband. Castiel thinks he'll never tire of calling him that.

His blissful moment of watching Dean sleep contently, was interrupted once again by the blaring of the alarm clock. Groaning, he flops his head back down onto the bed. A chuckle makes Castiel turn his head to the left, seeing emerald green eyes staring right back at him makes him flush. Smirking, Dean strokes Castiel's hair.

"Morning Cas, you look cute when you blush." Castiel grumbles.

"M'not cute!" He declares, slightly muffled by the sheets.

Smiling wide to himself, Dean rumbles out a laugh. Turning off the alarm, he rolls over, closer to Castiel before tucking a leg in between his. Face to face with his husband, Dean nuzzles their noses before softly kissing his lips. Pulling back, he kisses Castiel's temple.

"I'm so glad you said yes."

"I'm so glad we're married."

"There you go being cute again."

"Dean!"

"Cas."

"Stop!"

"Never!"

Leaning up on his elbows, Castiel muffles Dean's laugh with his hands. A glint in Dean's eyes tells Castiel he's in for big trouble. Dean licks Castiel's hand, making him withdraw with a gasp. Seeing the chance, Dean launches himself at Castiel, tickling and tugging his arms into a strong hold. With Castiel not one to back down, it soon turned into a full on play fight, knocking pillows and duvets astray.

Calling a truce, they lay there huffing. Turning to face one another, they started to giggle at their own silliness. Being married to Castiel was like being married to his best friend. Castiel was, and still is his best friend and always will be.

Eventually, they both got up dressed and ready for the day. Getting ready was always such a task to them, because they constantly tease eachother any chance they get. Getting dressed turns into a touching contest, where the loser who gets turned on first has to make breakfast. Bathroom time became a chore as they both loved to hog the sink, in a race to see who could brush their teeth first, before wrestling to get into the shower. More than enough times, they both just ended up sharing.

There was never a dull moment in their relationship, unless Castiel forgot to bake a pie for Dean, or Dean forgot Castiel's tea in the morning. All in all, they loved their relationship. Being married to your best friend was all kinds of fun.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

**~2 Years Ago~**

Walking into the Roadhouse, Dean felt like he was walking to his death. His palms were sweaty, his breathing was erratic and his mouth was overly dry. He needed liquid courage immediatly. Wiping his hands on his jeans, Dean went up to the bar while Sam, Gabriel and Castiel went to find a seat. He sat on a stool, flagging Ellen down for his order. Seeing Ellen look at him curiously, he was sure she could hear his heartbeat pounding from a mile away. Reaching down to touch the ring box in his pocket, a calming sensation washed over him for a couple of seconds before Ellen was standing directly in front of him.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Ellen snarks, leaning on the bar.

Breathing a sigh, Dean contemplates telling Ellen his big news. Ordering four beers of whatever was on tap, he glances behind him at Castiel. Seeing him talking and laughing with his brother made him smile fondly. Turning back to Ellen, he takes a deep breath as she sets down the last beer. Leaning forward, he grabs Ellen's attention.

"I'm gonna propose to Cas." He says softly, fiddling with one of the glasses.

"What!" Ellen shouts, dropping a glass she was cleaning, drawing the attention of everyone.

Folding in on himself, Dean flusters, sending pleading eyes to Ellen.

"What are y'all staring at? I'm not a damn peep show!" Ellen shouts, making the patrons turn back to whatever they were doing. Thanking her, Dean smiles.

"Is it that surprising? I've been in love with the guy for years."

"Oh honey, no. It just took me by surprise is all. Wait, are you planning on doing it here, tonight?"

"Well, yeah. I tried and failed at thinking of places to do it at, but I didn't want anything extravagant y'know? Cas deserves everything, but I don't want to humilate the guy!"

"I'm proud of you Dean. Go give the boys their drinks, I'll be keeping my eye on you." Ellen winks, making Dean chuckle.

"Thanks Ellen."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Joining the guys and sitting next to Castiel made Dean's nerves rise again. He wanted this proposal not to sound cheesy but, to be the best. Castiel was his best friend, there was no way he was messing this up. He'd never let him forget it. The scenarios that intruded his brain made him flinch, and jiggle his leg with anticipation. Being lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Castiel looking at him worriedly.

Sam and Gabriel were no better. They too noticed Dean's preoccupied attention. Sharing looks with one another, Sam decided to intervene. Sam cleared his throat in order to get his brother's attention. When Dean failed to hear him, he decided to take matters into his own hands, and kicks Dean's leg under the table. Earning a glare from Dean, he signals him to follow. Leaving Gabriel and Castiel at the table, the brothers head outside.

"Okay, spill." Sam confronts Dean, sending him a concerned face.

Huffing a sigh, Dean rubs his hands over his face.

"Sammy..."

"No, Dean. Just tell me okay? Whatever it is, we can work it out."

"It's not.. Sammy I-" Dean pauses, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm um, I'm gonna propose to Cas." He murmurs.

"Did you just say you're gonna propose to Cas?"

"Yeah, I-"

Dean didn't get to finish the rest of his sentance, as Sam was enveloping Dean into a giant hug. Standing there in shock, Dean soon hugged him back. Letting go, Sam sent Dean a wide, toothy smile that reminded Dean of a young Sammy, when he finally got his first adult tooth. Smiling back, he ruffles his brother's hair affectionatly.

"I'm so happy for you Dean, let's go back in and get your man!"

"Shut up, Sammy!" He laughs, pushing his brother.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Walking back into the Roadhouse, Dean felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, now that he'd told his brother the news. Sitting back down at the table, he sipped his beer and stalled the time and questions fired his way. Finding the right moment was crucial to Dean, he wanted to make this a night Cas would never forget. When Castiel pipped up that he was hungry, Dean knew he had to take his chance, now or never right?

Telling Ellen to bring out a full cherry pie; because it was Castiel's favorite, he took the moment as soon as Ellen placed the pie onto the table. At first he feigned tying up his boot laces, but scolded himself for being a coward. Noticing he had everyones eyes on him, he took a deep breath and looked Castiel right in the eyes.

"Cas, I know this may be a stupid time over pie; because right now I feel stupid, but it just occured to me that wherever I do this, it doesn't matter because you'll be with me, and that's all that matters." A few gasps surrounded Dean, but his focus was on Castiel who looked at him all but shocked, with a hint of amazement on his face.

"I know we had a rocky start to our relationship, which was hard, so fucking hard. But we managed to pull through despite what had happened and find each other once again. I can't ever imagine growing old with someone else, nor do I want to. It's been you, always you that my heart belongs to. So Cas, babe, let's put our hearts into each other's hand's for life. Will you marry me?" Castiel was staring at Dean, face red and blotchy, covered in tears. Launching himself at Dean, he began to cry again, face tucked into the side of Dean's neck.

Hugging his boyfriend so tight, Dean comforted Castiel's crying form. Itching to know the answer, Dean rubs his back hesitantly.

"Cas?" Dean asks, voice breaking, thick with emotion. Pulling back from his tight grip on Dean, Cas turns his head to face Dean.

"Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes, you assbutt!" Castiel cries before resuming his tight grip on Dean. Collapsing with relief and utter joy, Dean joins his now fiance in letting his emotions free and crying a fuck ton, while everyone looks on with tearful congratulations and pure joy.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

**~Present~**

Dean and Castiel, lay snuggled up on the sofa. Castiel in between Dean's legs, wrapped in a fleece blanket for extra warmth, with BB nestled in Castiels lap, watching nothing but cartoons. As they watched Wiley Coyote try and fail to catch the Roadrunner once again, they chuckled light heartedly as a slight knock comes at the door before Sam opens it. Noticing them on the sofa watching cartoons he huffs in amusement. Dropping his bag at the door draws both of their attention.

"Everyone's been looking for you both today." Sam tells them, in search of his laptop.

Turning around in Deans lap, Castiel leans on his thigh, sending a curious look towards Sam.

"Really? How come?" He asks, fully intrigued.

"Dean where's my-"

"Table Sammy!"

"Thanks. They miss you Cas! They wanna know how the married life is holding up for ya."

"Nosey bastards the lot of 'em! They'll be asking about our sex lives next."

"Gross, I'll pass." Castiel snorts.

"Tell them we're busy being a little family, Sam. It'll keep them on their toes." Dean smirks.

"Nice one babe." He replies before bending down slightly to give Castiel a kiss.

Shifting in his awkward position, Castiel sits back up right, but not before grazing Dean's upper thigh. Dean all but sends him a hot glare, sliding his hands into the crook of Castiels back. Biting his lip, Castiel turns to shake his head at Dean, signaling a 'not yet'. As if Sam had read their minds, he tucks his laptop into his bag and hollers out a goodbye, swinging the door closed behind him.

Dean, never one to back down from touching his husband, snakes his hands down Castiel's hips before venturing to his crotch. Noticing how hard Castiel had gotten from that little moment, Dean slowly strokes his penis through the thin fabric. As Castiel lets out a low whine, Dean leans close and whispers hotly into his ear.

"Such a bad angel, teasing me like that. Bad angels need to be punished. Cas, baby, do you want to be punished?" Letting out a gutteral moan, Castiel nods his head slowly. Tapping his husband to move, Dean pushes the forgotten blanket off and rises off the sofa, pulling Castiel with him. Castiel tugs at his arm, halting them both in their steps. Dean turns and laces their fingers together, before running a finger over Castiel's bottom lip. Castiel gasps, eyes fluttering closed as he tightens his grip on their hands.

"Dean, Dean, Dean, please." Castiel whimpers, loving when Dean takes charge like that. Trailing a hand up Castiel's face, Dean threads his fingers through his disheveled hair. Yanking on those beautiful locks, he gives himself a view of Castiel's delicious neck. He licks and bites a devilish trail along his neck before he sucks his pink plump lips, nibbling gently at them. Licking along the line, Dean all but growls when Castiel lets him in. Devouring the sweet taste of his husband's mouth, his head feels light with lust.

Pulling back, albeit reluctantly. Dean grabs Castiel's thighs, hoisting him up as Castiel's long legs wrap around his waist. Carrying him roughly to their bedroom, before throwing him onto the bed in a rush. Dean makes his way to unbuttoning, unzipping and throwing off every piece of clothing in sight. Castiel lay there paralyzed with lust before tearing at Dean's clothes in a rush to join his on the floor.

With all items of clothing gone, left with nothing but their boxers, Dean and Castiel stare at one another hungrily. Castiel pulls Dean down, kissing him roughly with tongues rubbing against one another, in a haste battle of dominance.

When nothing left but skin touching skin was between them, they made no attempt to slow things down. Caressing, grabbing, biting and kissing pieces of skin in any places they could reach. As they came down for a breather, they chuckled mercilessly.

"I fucking love you, Cas!" Castiel smiles his wide gummy smile. Cradling Dean's face in his palm, Castiel brings Dean down and kisses him gently this time.

"I fucking love you too, Dean!" Castiel replies, taking in Dean's fond look of love and admiration.

"Now punish me Master." Dean's eyes widened as he smirked dirtily.

"Oh, I'm about to angel!"


End file.
